To my daughter Stephanie

Yo Mama is so fat. It's true.
 I don't like to stick to things.  How many times have I tried diets, cross stitch, "attempting to crochet", etc.? You aren't like that though. You are more like your Grandma Butler was. You are like the energizer bunny. There are afghans, cross stitches, and quilts all over several states and counties. You stick to things. I don't. I wish I could be like you, but I'm not.
Hence this blog. I'm hoping for it to keep me accountable. I want to finish something so that you know I can. Maybe it will be here for you to share with Cody. Hopefully, it will keep me here long enough so that I can share it with him.

So sadly here are the numbers, as promised.

Weight: 225.50 lbs.
Bust: 49 inches (and no, most of that is not "bust")
Waist:
Wait. Let's talk waist. Where exactly is that anyway? Does anyone know? Is it different on different people? I went to a weight loss place once where they measured your waist at your belly button. (my coworkers and family are now saying "oh no, she's talking about belly buttons."). So where is the belly button SUPPOSED to be? I told that weight loss place that MY belly button is not at where I think my waist is and that it is several inches below that.
 Now, while in NYC this past weekend, my kids and I had this conversation and started comparing. And yes, we are a strange family. My incredibly physically fit ballet dancing son has a belly button that is according to Steph (and I witnessed it with my own eyes), almost right below his rib cage and about 8 (Steph says 10) inches above his pants line. How is this possible? Is this how the human anatomy is supposed to be? Steph's was about 2 inches above her pants line. Is that where it is supposed to be? If anyone knows, please let me know.
Mine, however, is somewhere in the middle of "that fat roll". You know.  The bottom one. The one some of you who have an extreme weight problem, like me,  might know about.  The one we don't like to talk about. I like to pretend it doesn't exist but I don't think my belly button is supposed to be there either. If I get in better shape, does it move up? I don't know. Does anybody know? Anyway, that definately is NOT where my waist is. My waist is the smallest part of my trunk. Right now, kind of hard to find but it is where my pants sit. Anyway,
Waist:441/2 inches
Hip?: 50
Upper arm: 15
Upper thigh: 271/2
There it is. It's out there now. Can't take it back. Should I go to work tomorrow? Thank God for jury duty next week.
Coming tomorrow: What should I eat? and, Did I really wreck my car because of an egg mcmuffin?

I love you Stephanie,
Yo mama